{ Tuesday, August 02, 2005
shattered into a million shards
each cut like a diamond knife
the pain is so intense you don't feel it till after
i was thinking about determinism.
it's smthng we learn during philo lessons and i don't think i really get it but it doesn't really matter now because i was just thinking about it and it's up to me to twist.
so anyway, base line is hey, our emotions are basically controlled by a bunch of neurons/chemical reactions.
everything is just a LIE.
a big fat stinking lie.
whether we're happy, sad, ecstatic, gloomy, pmsy, brooding etc.
it's all CHEMICAL REACTIONS.
they're not real.
so why waste your life feeling like that?
it's like endorphins.
eat chocolate and you'll be happy.
but are you really happy?
doesn't it wear off?
so aren't we basically lying to ourselves.
our perception of feeling is just a word.
it's the chemical reactions sending signals to our brain and our brain then reacts accordingly.
so why do we bother ourselves about feelings, really.
and then even if it's not chemical reactions that we're portraying,
we cover up those chemical reactions.
nobody is real.
there are facades everywhere.
so you smile everyday. but are you 'happy'?
which brings me back to the first question i posed.
is happy real.
i think i was too free on the bus and walking home today.
there goes my trust, my faith, my loyalty
everything's suppressed i don't want it to surface again
hiding behind those shades
you'll never see those tears shed
`SAYYOULOVEME.;
6:10 PM
